Mmm, I have been thinking about what stories to share on this blog and I think they should all be love themed, and writing themed, and seeing as this blog is about my New Adult books – about the angst of falling in love.
So then, it’s really great some of my ex-boyfriends have given me brilliant experiences to call upon. I have loads of little tales to tell.
Yep, boys, you better start getting on edge. Of course no names, but if you ever read this, you’ll know who you are 😀
Yep, I’ve decided to do a little washing of my dirty linen in public. Ha. Ha!
So let’s get straight into the dirt.
First guy I really fell for.
I was young, I was so young people would say it wasn’t love. It was love.
I was one of those girls at school who is really quiet. I did used to go around with the ‘in’ ‘popular’ people, so I was sort of one of them, but I always felt it was a bit by default really, because I was never very outgoing with people. I had to know people really well before I would actually feel comfortable enough to be myself. So I was seriously down on myself, and not at all confident – although I was confident with my close friends.
Anyway that combination equaled a severe lack of boyfriends.
My two best friends were constantly seeing someone, they’d dump a boy, or get dumped (rarely that) and be on to the next guy the next day, while ‘plain Jane’ (as I used to think of myself), never got asked out by anyone… I know now I really wasn’t that unattractive, I was quiet, and didn’t think enough of myself.
Anyway, shoving that aside, I developed a trend at school that when I got boyfriends it was generally because I’d spent a lot of time in their company and started to be my real self because I relaxed around them.
So this boy, well, we’d gone away on a school trip, one of those that means you go away for a whole week and stay in dormitories. He was in the group I went walking with, and I went surfing with him, and we spent tons of time talking and I laughed a lot more, and hey, my best friend, who I deemed much more beautiful than me, was even in that group and this guy still had eyes only for me… Can you imagine how that felt to someone who got no attention… ever… Yep, fell in love and fell in love deep and fast.
On the Thursday night he asked me if I’d go out with him – as in start a dating relationship. Well no brainer… Yes! Then on the Friday we had a day when we went to a swimming pool, well, me and him in swimming costumes, we did a lot of kissing and he did a lot of touching – not too indecently though, the others were around. But it was sheer heaven to a girl who’d never had a proper boyfriend, I mean there was a real spark in his eyes for me.
When we got back to school we hung out in breaks together for a couple of weeks, and I was so in seventh heaven to have someone so deeply into me.
Your waiting for the crash aren’t you, too good to be true right?
We lived in different towns, and he arranged to come round to see me at home on a Saturday. Brilliant. Time alone with him again, get to know him more…
Well he came over with one thing on his mind. Yes, that spark in his eye had not really been for me, but for it. What I haven’t told you yet, is that before he’d been attracted to me he’d been going out with someone else for two years, yes we were young, but he’d had a serious relationship with this other girl, and he expected to dive straight into going the whole way with me. Wasn’t happening.
He behaved really arrogantly too. My Mum and Dad only met him that once and I only dated him for a month. But my Mum still sometimes talks about “when you had that arrogant boy come round”. They took a dislike to him the moment they saw him. Probably had him all worked out in seconds.
And needless to say, after I’d said, “no”, Monday at school – he ignored me.
When I saw him with someone else that afternoon, I just walked out of school I was so upset. Then the next day I wrote this great long speech to tell him what a prick he was, sadly my un-confident self returned when I got the moment to say it, I think I actually said “That was a really shitty thing to do,” and he walked off. I screwed up the piece of paper I’d worked out my speech on and threw it away in disgust with myself. So big of me… not.
Sadly my heart was obsessed with the shallow idiot for months after that. Hey, you can’t control your heart.
I saw him a few years after we left school. I stood next to him ordering a drink in a bar. He’d turned in to someone who liked to wear a lot of gold. I don’t think he even remembered who I was. All my affection was dead thankfully.I just thought – saved. So glad I didn’t end up with him – he was just as arrogant. 😀
All good food for the imagination in books though, and a wonderful lesson learned which I’ve passed onto my daughter. So thank you to Mr shallow and moved-too-fast, for your lesson learned and your inspiration… !